Ah, the caveat!—30 Verbal Questions or the Online Questionnaire

“You tell me lies that should be obvious to me.”
Marvin Gaye, Ain’t That Peculiar


More like rarely…

“You show me two busy people and I’ll show you two people who don’t give a fuck about the existence of their significant other.” — Gregory A. Netterville
[Shitty attempt at coming up with a cool quote. Either way Marvin’s got me!]

Bar scouting got me to thinking about relationships. Relationships got me to “looking” at the FaceBook™ page of a young woman (I’m a sucker for brunettes!) I was unsuccessful in courting earlier this year. Earlier this year I said I would be more proactive. Proactive the adjective not the acne fighting solution is usually at the tail-end of declarations made by desperate people. Yes, it’s crass but it doesn’t mean it isn’t true!

We, us desperate folks that is, live in constant fear that we’re within seconds of missing out. So we make bold, desperate attempts to keep a firm grip on whatever it is that is slipping away from us, even if what’s slipping away from us is something that was bound to happen. For moi, it’s my youth. It didn’t occur to me until earlier this year how precious it is. And by youth I mean freedom: the ability to be available at moments notice and open-minded enough and adventurous enough for just about anything.

I picked up this nasty habit—where I’m not sure—of making myself unavailable. Weddings, house parties, picnics, dinners, dates… whatever the situation I was M.I.A. I lumped all of my correspondences under the umbrella of “I’m busy”. And for a while I was. School and worked consumed most of my time, but that’s not the case in 2012.

Here’s what 2012 looks like:

2012 Bucket List…

—As you can see 2012 WIDE OPEN—

But that isn’t what I wanted to get off my chest. It’s this notion of saying to someone that you’re busy. It’s the verbal Golden Gun. It’s worse than saying “Fuck off!”. Hell, some people use it like a “Fuck off!”. I know its power which is why I no longer use it. But lately, “I’m busy” has been used on me and with high frequency.

It’s just not something I believe to be true anymore. I can honestly say that when I used “I’m busy” I wasn’t really busy; I procrastinated when it came to homework and I worked less than 30 hours a week. Simply put, I wasn’t in the mood to be around that person. If I really wanted to, I would’ve found a way to make it work.

true…

“I’m busy” or “I’m a busy person” is too absolute. That’s what bothers me about the phrase. It makes me feel like nothing can be worked out—take it or leave it. And seeing as the year started off in desperation, it’s safe to say that I chose the former.

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